on reflection...

I can't believe it's the 17th of January and the last time I posted was the 1st!

I've started my radiotherapy treatment over at Jimmy's in Leeds and have to go every day till the end of the month which is a fare 'ole trek! but worth it!

It's so surreal to me having the radiotherapy treatment, 
the changing room is like Mr Ben's, only no magic shop keeper appears, and the nurses don't wear fez's.
In one door, gown on, then out another door into a space lab with a huge machine ready to laser zap me a bit of radiation goodness to eradicate any naughty cells that the chemo may have missed! cooool! - as Sonny would say... in fact a lot of my experience has been cool and awesome to Sonny, including my "blood bag" in hospital, my "shark attack" scar and my "brilliant bald" head... and now being laser zapped!... how lucky can one mummy be!

It's like being in a James bond film, only I'm no pussy galore and there's no Martini shaken or stirred, and no Daniel Craig unfortunately.... just music in the back-ground, to keep me calm and still. 
I'm not allowed to move, at all, not a millimetre, which for a mega fidget pants is really hard! Especially when they played Jackie Wilson's 'Reet Petite'!
 I lay there thinking this has got to be one of the most surreal moments of my life, being zapped by a huge machine 4 inches from my face with Jackie Wilson singing "look-a-bar look-a-bar look-a-bar oooooo weeee" and not being able to shimmy a shoulder!

  I don't feel a thing, they set the green beams of light from the ceiling to the tattooed dots on my chest and then leave the room and say "back in minute Lisa" then the machine buzzes for a minute or so and then that's it! - Sonny would be disappointed... but I think it's amazing.

The lovely radiology nurse told me to just breath normally, but as soon as anyone asks you to do that you become so conscious of your own breathing and how high up your tummy rises as you breath, you get a tickle on your nose and you start to take shorter breaths and wonder how on earth do you normally breath! but the nurse reassured me today that the machine takes into consideration my breathing (that's good, hopefully alarm bells would go off if I stopped breathing!) and not to worry - fab!

There's been a big lack of posting because with my new found healthy freedom after being chemo'd ( a bit like being tango'd...
...very similar!)

I seem to spend more time making up for lost time,
I seem to appreciate every little thing I do, even putting on the marigolds to wade through the washing up singing as I go... how long this will last I don't know - I'm no domestic goddess, so I don't reckon the 'happy to be just cleaning' thing will last very long! But I seem to want to spend less time in front of the computer and more time doing fab family, friends and housey things. We went out to a friends 40th party on Saturday and I loved every minute, I danced until I went dizzy! I was a bit disappointed that I didn't glow on the dance floor with all this radiation inside me, I thought I could be an extra disco light and friends could dance around me, maybe by the end of the month that will be possible!

It just feels so good to be on the last leg of this journey, the bell's going to ring soon and the ref's going to lift my hand in the air and I'm going to do a backwards flip and a little robotic dance like all the footballers do when they've scored the winning goal in the last minute of the second half, although I refuse to run around with my t-shirt over my head, not a good look in a mastectomy bra.

On reflection the whole experience has had miles more positives than negatives and I feel to have a lovely 'I love life' ready break glow feeling about me.... literally!!:)


  1. What a fantastically, brilliantly positive post! Take care Lisa.

  2. So glad you're on the last leg off your journey and loving life, sod it pull that t-shirt over your head ;D
    We should all take a leaf out of your book and appreciate the little things more, not sure about the washing up though ;o)
    Jax x

  3. That was such an incredibly moving post to read! My eyes are filled with tears! Happy ones I think!x

  4. Wow - you're my hero - I meant it. Nic x

  5. I LOVE your spirit Lisa, it is so infectious! And the top photo really moved me. Still moving me actually *dabs* Your children are so amazing... I love Sonny's take on it!

  6. Fantastic post Lisa, you could do a Marvellous booklet for anyone going through the same thing, I think with all your positivity you could pull anyone through it! I look forward to you coming back to talk to us regularly, you make me laugh, even through all you've been through, that's where your kids get their amazing take on things, it's Mums crazy imagination rubbing off. Take your time and appreciate all things, and get back creating and blogging when you can. Still wishing you all the best for this last bit of the journey!

  7. You are a true inspiration for anyone....to be so positive is the best thing. Love that bit about Jackie Wilson :))) xx

  8. I'm so happy you're feeling better and are getting that glow back! Your blog is a real joy to read. :) Thank you!

  9. Ha ha I love the music they play when you're being zapped.
    The first day I had it they played 'Stayin' Alive'......
    it was very hard trying not to laugh!
    Happy radio-ga-ga-ing my lovely.
    You're nearly there.
    BIG BIG hugs

  10. I am amazed at the precision of the machinery available to us. I know what you mean about being acutely aware of what are normally background functions though. There is nothing like being told not to move or to act normally to make us do the opposite.

    Congratulations on the mop up treatment; I hope this year is the start of all things good.

  11. Hi there - just clicked on your link and was delighted to see you had an update - and such a glowingly positive one - glad you are enjoying your marigolds!! look forward to seeing you all soon. Elisha (and chicken of course!) xx

  12. What a beautiful picture of Skyla, so glad your treatment is nearly over, love you're description of being in the machine - expecting some sci-fi influenced prints this year!

    Can't wait to see you

  13. Lisa,

    What a trooper of person you are!!! I love your blog. Even more I LOVE your positivity. That pic of your daughter is so incredibly moving - beautiful, and a truly beautiful post.


  14. What a fab attitude :-) Carry on like that and you'll be better in no time xxx

  15. Hi Lisa,
    So glad to see an update on your blog, I've been checking everyday. What a read, I've laughed and cried. You are doing so well, you really are an inspiration. Take care of yourself and I can't wait to meet up soon.
    Love always, Kimberley. xxxx

  16. Hi Lisa
    I've found my way here from your Folksy shop (where I've left a message for you).
    Gosh ... I popped by to say how wonderful I think your artwork is over on Folksy and how much it has made me smile this evening. Now I find you've been going through chemo and radiotherapy and reading this post - well, it's made me stop in my tracks somewhat. Life is so precious, I know that in my head - but just reading this one post of yours makes me see how precious that life is in big bold headlines. You truly are amazing to be able to write in this way, about your experiences.
    My Dad's just finished a course of radiotherapy too.
    Thank you - for your artwork and your positive outlook - thank you!
    I'll be back - as Arnie would say - only in a much more friendly way you know!

  17. Hello my lovely. You are amazing. That is all. xxx

  18. Happy new year (I know it's late!!!!) and good luck and bestest wishes to you !
    Rob R


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