on reflection...

I can't believe it's the 17th of January and the last time I posted was the 1st!

I've started my radiotherapy treatment over at Jimmy's in Leeds and have to go every day till the end of the month which is a fare 'ole trek! but worth it!

It's so surreal to me having the radiotherapy treatment, 

the changing room is like Mr Ben's, only no magic shop keeper appears, and the nurses don't wear fez's.

In one door, gown on, then out another door into a space lab with a huge machine ready to laser zap me a bit of radiation goodness to eradicate any naughty cells that the chemo may have missed! cooool! - as Sonny would say... in fact a lot of my experience has been cool and awesome to Sonny, including my "blood bag" in hospital, my "shark attack" scar and my "brilliant bald" head... and now being laser zapped!... how lucky can one mummy be!

It's like being in a James bond film, only I'm no pussy galore and there's no Martini shaken or stirred, and no Daniel Craig unfortunately.... just music in the back-ground, to keep me calm and still. 

I'm not allowed to move, at all, not a millimetre, which for a mega fidget pants is really hard! Especially when they played Jackie Wilson's 'Reet Petite'!

 I lay there thinking this has got to be one of the most surreal moments of my life, being zapped by a huge machine 4 inches from my face with Jackie Wilson singing "look-a-bar look-a-bar look-a-bar oooooo weeee" and not being able to shimmy a shoulder!

  I don't feel a thing, they set the green beams of light from the ceiling to the tattooed dots on my chest and then leave the room and say "back in minute Lisa" then the machine buzzes for a minute or so and then that's it! - Sonny would be disappointed... but I think it's amazing.

The lovely radiology nurse told me to just breath normally, but as soon as anyone asks you to do that you become so conscious of your own breathing and how high up your tummy rises as you breath, you get a tickle on your nose and you start to take shorter breaths and wonder how on earth do you normally breath! but the nurse reassured me today that the machine takes into consideration my breathing (that's good, hopefully alarm bells would go off if I stopped breathing!) and not to worry - fab!

There's been a big lack of posting because with my new found healthy freedom after being chemo'd ( a bit like being tango'd...

...very similar!)

I seem to spend more time making up for lost time,
I seem to appreciate every little thing I do, even putting on the marigolds to wade through the washing up singing as I go... how long this will last I don't know - I'm no domestic goddess, so I don't reckon the 'happy to be just cleaning' thing will last very long! But I seem to want to spend less time in front of the computer and more time doing fab family, friends and housey things. We went out to a friends 40th party on Saturday and I loved every minute, I danced until I went dizzy! I was a bit disappointed that I didn't glow on the dance floor with all this radiation inside me, I thought I could be an extra disco light and friends could dance around me, maybe by the end of the month that will be possible!

It just feels so good to be on the last leg of this journey, the bell's going to ring soon and the ref's going to lift my hand in the air and I'm going to do a backwards flip and a little robotic dance like all the footballers do when they've scored the winning goal in the last minute of the second half, although I refuse to run around with my t-shirt over my head, not a good look in a mastectomy bra.

On reflection the whole experience has had miles more positives than negatives and I feel to have a lovely 'I love life' ready break glow feeling about me.... literally!!:)